We give up our own responsibility of our lives and, at the same time, we put a
rather heavy burden on the shoulders of the people we claim to love.
Allowing someone else power over your life is very dangerous...that is a kind
of power no one should have over another human being. To freely give up the
power over yourselves is one of the most stupid things you could do.
The reason for being together with someone should never be that we need them
but instead that they are our greatest joy.
Clinging on to a relationship which has fullfilled it´s purpose comes rather
high on the list of how can I manage to always stay utterly unhappy in my
When a relationship has a distinctive purpose (and, mind you, I don´t say that
all of them have!)  either if it´s a child who have choosen two specific people
for its parents, if the relationship has been formed in order to gain a certain
wisdom or knowledge or if it´s to get an education which could not have been
taken without the support and love of a certain person or any other purpose the
reason for the relationship is over the minute that purpose is fullfilled.
Anything beyond that is nothing but mouth to mouth resuscitation, and please
people...leave that to saving someone who´s drowning or in some other medical
emergency situation!
Instead you need to make the conclusion that there´s nothing left and to allow
yourself and your partner to move on to the possibility of finding happiness in life.
Even if you have children, or more correctly, especially if you have children.
No child on this earth has ever benefited from living with two parents having
nothing but icy silence to share with eachother.
Whenever I hear we stay together because of the children, I get frustrated- it
reminds me of being brought up in a fridge.
And when I ask those same parents if this really is the experience they want
their children to have; their point of view of how a relationship should be, I
have so far never received a good answer to my question.
All that bring us back to our destructive patterns...our children get moled
into the roles and ways of our own relationships as we are their role models.
If we let them grow up believing it´s better to stay in a dead or draining
relationship than to break up- that´s exactly what they will do...and
consequently pass on the same miserable view of life and love to their own
offspring thereby creating a never-ending negative circle.
But the patterns can be broken; you can get rid of them.
That?s one part of what my work has consisted of for a good many years; to help
people stop focusing on negativity in their lives, to build up a good and
healthy self- esteem, as well as a stable inner groundling; to discover and
break destructive patterns and to let go of fears and internal trials.